Hypervigilance, numbness, flashbacks and blank patches in memory are all things a nervous system does to get someone through danger. They become a problem when they carry on long after the danger has passed.

This is why the first phase of trauma work is not talking about what happened. It is making sure there is enough stability, sleep and support in place to do that safely.

Nobody should be pushed into processing before they are ready. Going slowly is not avoidance — with trauma it is usually the fastest route.